40. - Jack London. Why couldnt the leopard play hide and seek? 170. I am just making myself capable enough to live in the moment. Even on my worst day, Ive still got 24 hours. I never apologize. Never judge a book by its movie. I will not let my mind be a bully to my body. 94. I have a new hairstyle today, its called I tried. grateful. I love the moment when the coffee kicks in and I realize what an adorable badass I am going to be today., 12. I dont know, but the flag is a big plus. "It's going to be hard, but hard does not mean impossible.". 3. It has many of the same goals as affirmations, as theyre both associated with positivity and happiness. 3. Hello little voice inside my head, please just shut up. I'm having a staff meeting.". 33 Humorous Affirmations [The Best Ones] 41. I am calm, patient and at peace. Flip Wilson, 263. Positive affirmations aren't about tricking kids into mentally looking at life with eyes that only see what they want to see. 138. - Marcus Tullius Cicero. I am Ananya, a professional speaker and I love motivating people and inspiring them to pursue their dreams. Its scary when it disappears. Papercut: A trees final moment of revenge. Honolulu, its got everything. Affirmations can be written in a journal, spoken out loud, or visualized as a conversation between you and money. 70. 1. The most important aspect is being honest with yourself and opting for a meaningful statement. 187. "Sometimes the best part of my job is that the chair swivels.". 75. Dont worry, the spider is smaller than you. Sometimes the M is silent. Infographic: Why Do People Swipe Right (or Left) on Tinder. 175. 39 Funny Positive Affirmations [Feel Happier Instantly] With great power comes an even greater electricity bill. 17. And a funny bone. A committee is a group that keeps the minutes and loses hours. Read the first word again. I am already great, and I am yet to reach my full potential. 139. Czech proverb 184. Life is like a very long TV show, without a remote control. I am intelligent. 221. 195. I havent talked to my wife in three weeks. Because they make up everything. Nine out of ten people love chocolate, and the 10th person is always lying. I honor that time. "Life is like an elevator - Sometimes it stops. 272. There are endless opportunities. You cant have everything, where would you put it? Im so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. I didnt want to interrupt her. 164. A gummy bear. My past is just a bad book that deserves to be in the trash., 9. 104. Whoever said great things come in small packages hasnt seen my big screen TV. 18 Funny Positive Affirmations to Get Through Your Shitty Day - Unkmown. Im still gonna do dumb stuff, only slower., See also: 90 Inspiring & Funny Quotes About Ageing Gracefully, 8. Im sorry, but thats just the way I am. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. "Whatever you do, do with all your might.". 160. avoid carbs. Because he was always spotted. 21. Awesome things will happen today if you choose not to be miserable., 7. 218. The early bird catches the worm, eats more and dies sooner. -Gandhi. 209. Ben Hogan. 71. Edward A. Murphy "After 30, a body has a mind of its own.". 7. I am way dumb than my mom keeps blabbering about me to the neighbors aunt. Envelope. In between, I am alive., 7. Ive got three bones. Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the journey. 28. 5. It was created to do amazing things. If you want flowers on February 14, plant them now., 6. 94. A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find, lucky to have. 135. Im multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time. 93. Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow as well. Sometimes the M is silent. Im so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed. I am lazier after accomplishing the motive. It has features that are distinctive and make me who I am. 171. People say you cant live without love, but I think oxygen is more important. Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? 163. 56. 164. Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil. In life, sometimes you just need to break the tension with a little humor. 183. Art doesnt transform. The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one. Why was six scared of seven? When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer. I might go home today, but I will go bigger tomorrow. This is a snap. I am lazy till I get a motive. "Don't let anyone ever dull your . I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. To thrive in life you need three bones. It takes so little to change your life! A gummy bear. 131. Bill Murray I dont need you to remind me of my age at work, I have a bladder that will do that for me., 8. It is what we can make of the mess we have made of things.'. Im a work in progress without a completion date., See also: 120 Ultimate Best Quotes About Progress To Fuel Your Growth. 195. I thought you said extra fries. Funny Friday Quotes. You can write them down and use them whenever youre attending a social event or if you simply just want to make yourself laugh. My diet for today: 1% food, 99% Halloween candy. Give your body time to absorb the positivity and let go of negative thoughts. If you dont succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried. 19. I dont worry about getting older. What do you get when you cross a fish and an elephant? My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. Some when they enter, others when they leave., 2. 193. I am noticing that others are more drawn to me because I am funny. Its not easy staying motivated for work all the time. I make people laugh, whether its with me or at me., 8. Every weekend I do what I love most, absolutely nothing. Why did the can crusher quit his job? 39. Sometimes I am so freaking awesome, I blow my own mind. They have shown me exactly who I do not want to be., 15. I dont go crazy, I am crazy. Common sense is like deodorant, those who need it the most never use it. Envelope. Some people are like clouds. Relaxing the mind with some funny affirmations is an easy way to reduce stress and keep yourself grounded in moments of turmoil. Gary Delaney, 248. A wishbone. My farts aren't nearly as bad as my dogs'. I tell you what always catches my eye. Im in desperate need of a 6-month vacation, twice a year. 250. An apple a day keeps anyone a way, if you throw it hard enough. 69 Funny Affirmations To Lighten Up Your Mood I understand success cant happen overnight. The rest are too expensive. 148. Confidence makes me powerful. 119. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. I get it nowIm single because Im a superhero., See also: 140 Single Quotes For Instagram Celebrating Single Life. Heres a list of funny affirmations that will improve your mood instantly. 232. 249. Erma Bombeck. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. Begin your days with these powerful, funny affirmations for self-esteem. Below youll find a collection of funny affirmations for work that will help you stay motivated and fight the work stress more efficiently. Need to send some positive energy your way? You know you are lazy when you get excited about canceling your plans. He said, 'So does the guy I stole it from.'" 4. I am the sunshine even when its gloomy outside. 220. 147. 12. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. 1. Dont let anything or anyone stop you from achieving what you truly aspire. "What doesn't kill you makes your drinks stronger.". On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. 107. Smile today, tomorrow could be worse. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. Make it inspiring. Remember: Dont Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. I live in a loving, nurturing, safe, and beautiful world. 244. Steve Martin 246. When shit hits the fan at work, I turn it into fertilizer., 10. You can't wait for inspiration. Good morning! Cindy from Marzahn. My feelings are just like acquaintances, they come and go. 10. 1. Then perhaps youd find value in these articles on. I am sorry not everyone will have the pleasure of knowing me. Yes, of course, I am athletic, I surf the Internet every day. I enjoy taking long romantic walks, to the fridge. My six pack is protected by a layer of fat. If you cant remember my name, just say chocolate and Ill turn around.. 111. Are these genes in your jeans or are you just happy to see me? Whoever invented knock knock jokes should get a no bell prize. Im not weird, Im just limited edition. 78. 20 Positive Affirmations You Can Use to Inspire Your Life - Mindvalley Blog Im describing you. Things are getting better all the time. 73. If the funny affirmations that Ive put together dont break your cool, then feel free to throw on a comedy special on Netflix or Youtube when you feel stressed. 120 Funny/sarcastic affirmations ideas - Pinterest "My funny vibes attract my happy tribe.". Dont drink to forget me, youll end up seeing me double. I love my job only when Im on vacation. New year, new me. They log in. Its called tomorrow. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? One of the most important aspects of affirmations is how authentic they feel to you. My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it. So, you promise yourself from tomorrow on, youll be starting your days using affirmations. Be strong, I whispered to my WiFi signal. Granted, it can be challenging to write affirmations, especially if you havent done it before. Declare your affirmations slowly and clearly. Any text will do. Steven Alexander Wright. Send me the link. But a little chocolate now and then doesnt hurt. Let these funny affirmation quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day. 156. 62 Funny Inspirational Quotes to Motivate Your Team Not everyone has good taste., 3. When life closes a door, just open it again. 135. I hope you enjoyed this article on funny affirmations! 65. You can stop driving me crazy, I can walk from here. God heals, and the doctor takes the fees. 105. I nourish my body every day. Feel free to share with friends and family on Facebook, Tumblr, Instagram, WhatsApp, Twitter and more to motivate them every morning. (John 14:27) 27. Decomposing. 31. People wont be going to bed thinking about that one bad joke you made. 9. The great pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do. 59. Raimonda.B. Bill Murray Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wifes mother. Waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn, hardest thing in the world. Maybe if we tell people the brain is an app, theyll start using it. 180. 7. My future is a golden, sparkly, explosion of fucking awesomeness. I dont need validation from others to know Im killing it. If you think nothing is impossible, try slamming a revolving door. What happens to a frogs car when it breaks down? 49. What is Mozart doing right now? 213. Robert A. Heinlein Find a short calm and peaceful moment in your day and use it for setting your mindset up for happiness. 5. The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. 103. 209. "Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.". 1. 78. happy. I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. 50 Funny Affirmations for a Daily Dose of Humor - Happier Human 1. I believed in Santa Claus for 10 years. Socrates. Did you know that having a good sense of humor is very important when it comes to social interaction? 275. 99. Lazy people fact #2347827309018287. 105. I can believe in myself for 5 minutes. I tried looking at the bright side of life, but it hurt my eyes. Friends buy you food. 234. 87. - Roy T. Bennett. Oh sheet! Paul Ehrlich, 241. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? This is the mondayest Monday that ever mondayed. I wasnt mad, but now that you asked me 7 times if Im mad.. yes, Im mad! Its okay if people dont like me. 101. If nothing is impossible is it possible for something to be impossible? Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker? Every day is a gift, thats why they call it the present. What better way to do that than through your own self-talk? 258. Education cost money. All my life I thought air was free, until I bought a bag of chips.
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